Self imposed censorship

I picture it something like this...

...And now, more from my book, "How to behave like a lady: Lessons in Submission to the Male Counterpart". 

Ch. 3 Stroking a man's ego 

There is, believe it or not, a wrong way to make a man feel superior.  I will tell you the proper ways to stroke his beloved ego, as well as ways for you to cope with the effects. 

Lesson one: He is right - always. 

The male is always right.  Make sure to let him know that you know, and understand that he is right.  Smile and nod accordingly, look lovingly, and intriguingly into his eyes with utter fascination as he talks.  Then always say, "You're right,."  Make sure to repeat his name back to him, it affirms that you are in understanding of who the boss is in this situation, and that he is most definitely, right.

After you've done so, make sure to pat yourself on the back and enjoy a candy or a xanax, something soothing to help you deal with the fact that you're faking yet another thing to boost the fragile, male ego.

Note: When entered into an argument that you know you just cannot win (this will never happen if you follow the book, women DO NOT argue with the male, there is no need - he is right, always!), just end it abruptly with "You're right." Follow it with an example of something he may have mentioned or hinted to. "You're right, insert male's name here, I am a bat-shit crazy bitch." Make sure to say it with force so he knows he won.

This reminds me of something John Gregory wrote A Father’s Legacy to his Daughters in 1821.

See an excerpt below:

“Be even cautious in displaying your good sense. It will be thought you assume superiority over the rest of the company. But if you happen to have any learning, keep it a profound secret, especially from the men, who generally look with a jealous and malignant eye on a woman of great parts and a cultivated understanding.”  

 (Read the article.  It is, quite awesome in helping you understand how to be awesome, as awesome as something without a  penis can possibly be!)

Don't think, ladies.  Don't be smart, educated, informed or opinionated, I mean, be those things, but don't let them  know you are.  Also don't be sexy, strong or anything, just be a naive, sickly virgin, because that's where it's at. Oh, and cook, or something.

I witnessed a slight crack in the male ego today, and then watched it get glued back together, two separate egos and instances, but still....

I proved my point, and his ignorance, and then it happened, the crack.  His face whitened and sank slightly, he quickly ignored the instance and moved onto other, more pressing matters that needed attention.

Jump to the glue.  I was in an argument with a man whom I've been trying to move on from.  I told him to leave me alone, basically, and that I was done hanging on to nothing.  After him going on and on about how I was "attacking" him, and then threatening me with his disappearance, (it was a serious threat, apparently, in my ladylike state, I would just wither away and die should this happen, he was sure of it.) I sarcastically said, "You're right insert jerk's name here". He then said "I know." Boom, glue.  Although I wasn't being sincere, he thought so, and it's all he needed.

You see, we can never be right, even when we are, still in 2013.  So to save my breath I just agree to disagree.  Plus, I could just care less at this point and really just want it all to be said and done!  I've also accepted the fact I will be forever alone.**

 **See forever alone/boyfriend pillow/ previous post, below:

Well back to work. Until next time....