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Stupid, stupid girl, you do it to yourself. You stupid girl.
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I am the chaos that surrounds me.
I
am simply, a girl desperately seeking a better fulfillment of what she honestly
believes she deserves. I am a five year
old girl, crying out. Inside, I'm still
her. I'm still twirling my skirt and
blindly throwing myself at the world.
Yet outside, I am this adult who is fully aware of the situation I am
throwing myself into. I'm fully aware of
the harm I've caused, and fully aware of the torment bestowed upon me. Inside I'm throwing this tantrum screaming so
loudly it drowns out my thoughts. Outside
I am merely a woman who's locked inside her mind. Quiet, secretive, and very, very lonely.
I
will recklessly seek love until it's mine, and then I will systematically
destroy what I have worked so hard to hold; for this is my destiny.
To always be the girl who waits;
for the thing she believes she doesn't
deserve.
